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This blog was set up to take someone through the steps we took for an International Adoption. The blog ended at the point that we flew to India to pick up our daughter. The blog is generic and doesn't name names due to the contract that we signed with our adoption agency. I would highly recommend our agency and in fact a few folks have used our agency based on both this blog and through emails. I started another blog which covers our trip and was going to stop blogging once the trip was over. I have been asked to continue the blog through the final adoption here in South California. I blog about once a month so you only need to check once in a blue moon or drop me a line and prod me to write about what is going on. If you have questions email me...

je

the other blog... http://camillebth.blogspot.com/

Jet Lag Diet Part II

Just in case you missed he comment the Jet Lag Diet Book has been updated. As far as reference books go this is priced for the pocketbook. Under $30 with shipping included.

"Thanks for mentioning Dr. Ehret's new book, The Cure for Jet Lag, over at http://www.thecureforjetlag.com. The book is not available at bookstores or online except at Back2Press Books online.

Yes, we rewrote, reformatted (MUCH, MUCH easier to read) and republished his old book with a new title, The Cure for Jet Lag, this past December.

There are actually about 16 variations of his 3-Step Program in the book. You'll hear a lot more about this great book in a month or two.

Lynne Scanlon, Coauthor"

SHE'S OURS .......SHE'S OURS

1207 hrs today I got a call from the wife, who got a call from one of our representatives at the adoption agency. Our papers have passed the court system and we will be able to go get her either at the end of December or early January.

je

"Free" Calls

Of course as I am going home the other day I thought, "Hey, I have this Skype (http://www.skype.com/newtoskype/) account, jengineer is the handle."

So this is another option for communicating to those back home. High speed connections should be available at the large hotels. I have read that connection speeds are faster in other countries, I do not know about India. There are other VOIP's that you can use but I think Skype is known big time. Best part is that Skype is free if you are going to another Skype user. So my siblings will be able to talk to us but unfortunately the parental unit will not. One PU would be on computers but the other PU is averse to them so to keep peace they have a 15 yr or more Mac sitting under wraps.

Hey I should see how early this Mac is because the first ones are now worth $$ I bet this one does not qualify as one that was made in the garage.

je

Boo – After your child comes to California

13OCT08 Update

No movement for the past month. We got news that India has over 13 national holidays during the month of October. The courts get back in session in November. Our passports are ready to go just need to send them in for the Visa. I have decided to wait until we get better confirmation of when we are going. Even after the courts give us the ok and they papers get translated there is still some paperwork here in the US that needs to be done. I think I mentioned it before but I forget. It is paperwork that says the state of Texas is sending a child to California and does California accept this child. If our agency had its HQ in California then we wouldn't have to go through this hoop.

Last month I took a look at what it would take to get our daughter legally adopted in California. Some states you can get your child and the next week roll into the courts and get them legally adopted. As it is we will be granted guardianship in India.

It is a 5 step process:

STEP 1

Fill out 4 forms

Adoption Request – Tells the judge about U and your child

Adoption Agreement – not applicable as our child is under the age of 12

Adoption Order – Judge signs it if he approves the adoption

Adoption Expenses – tells judge about your adoption expenses

STEP 2

The Social Worker writes a report – probably just an amendment to the one you already have.

STEP 3

Get Your Hearing

Bring the above forms and your child, a camera and your friends

STEP 4

If this is an open adoption then you need to fill out another form which asks for an open adoption. Not much use for us as our child was abandoned at the gates of the orphanage.

STEP 5

More forms to have on hand

Adoption of Indian Child

Parent of Indian Child Agrees to End Parental Rights.

You may think twice about the last one, as I am unsure if the web site is referring to Native Americans or from the subcontinent. They are referring to Native Americans so the 5^th step is not applicable either.

Looks to me like we can make our adoption as quickly as we fill out the papers and get a court date.

The cost of the adoption has been modified.

je

Beg-A-Thon

Bring Our Daughter Home

There are two ways that we can address our plea to our Family, Friends, Acquaintances and Benefactors who happen upon this plea. Some of you have seen JE' quip which is repeated below. Here is RN's version in JE's words.

Dear Brothers and Sister's. In case you didn't know it has long been on my heart to adopt. During our courtship we discussed adoption and I told my then friend that ever since I was eight (8) I had it placed hard on me that I would adopt a child and raise him or her as best I could. If he was not on-board then he would be kicked to the curb.

We are now 7 months into our paper pregnancy and try as we might we have been unsuccessful in finding grants for the adoption. Unlike health insurance where pregnancies, births and even abortions are covered by insurance here is no such program for adoption. Our first two children cost less than $3000, not including the monthly premiums. Adopting, we have found, will stretch you to your financial limits and beyond.

We are asking, pleading, for your financial support, to help us bring our daughter home home.

Brother Can You Spare A Dime Part 1

HELP!

They are holding my daughter hostage in India. The kidnappers have demanded a minimum of $13,000 for us to get her with a few caveats. The exchange is to take place in a small village on the east coast of India. We will have to make arrangements for airfare, hotels, taxi's, immigration payola, medical treatment etc. The demands are rather complicated. We need to get exit visa's and to do that we have to travel to the far Northern part of the country, Delhi. We have been told that if we meet the requirements in Delhi that we should be allowed to leave with our child. I tried to negotiate a simple fly-in, fly-out exchange but was told I had to do it their way or no way. We knew that getting her home would not be cheap but we are getting stretched thin. Unfortunately there is no type of insurance for this situation, Our only course of action is to ask for help in getting her back. Can you help?

Are you flush? If so we will gladly take a grant (cheeky eh?).

BCYSAD Part 2

Ever see those info-mercials about children in other countries needing your financial support for just a dollar a day? Well we are not needing a dollar a day. We easily need over $13,000. Make a real positive impact on a child's life. Help us bring our daughter home. Instead of getting a yearly report on her health and educational progress you can come by and actually visit, touch and be an active participant in making a change in our daughter's life. Brother, Can You Spare Dime?

je

Cost up to date

This is what this adoption has cost up to date. It also includes estimated cost and offsets we have received from family and friends.

je

Notification of NOC 28AUG08

Knock – NOC

For the past two weeks I have been looking at hotels for the trip. Generally there are two methods that the agency recommends for tripping in India. One is to land in Delhi and then take a trip to Agra. the other is go straight to the orphanage city. Everyone recommends spending at least one day on the ground before heading up in an airplane for another day.

Day 1 Land in Delhi 4 hour road trip to Agra.

Day 2 Visit the Taj aka one grand mausoleum.

Day 3 Local outing to the markets to get proper clothing

Day 4 4 hour road trip to Delhi and flight to the orphanage.

Day 5 Visit the locality. Built in 11th century AD, the Stone revetments were considered an engineering marvel of those times. They show us how advanced the technology and skills were even at that point of time. The revetments helped save the city form many floods. That is on JE's list. The artisans are noted for their silver filigree.

Day 6 Pick up our daughter

Day 7 Travel to Delhi

Day 8 US Embassy, Doctor visit to get child clearance

Day 9 US Embassy

Day 10 Sight seeing/rest

Day 10 Get out of dodge

Somewhere in all this RN wants to get a locally made rug. Our in-country guide runs $100 /day. One of the families, suffering from an embarrassment of riches, stayed at $600-800 a night hotels in Delhi and Agra. I think they had to skimp on the orphanage and could only manage something like $300 a night rooms.

Unfortunately our fund raising efforts will not afford us such luxury. I think I have found a nice bed and breakfast in Delhi. The husband is an engineer/businessman and the wife a psychologist. They run only $100/night. Agra is expensive expensive so it looks like about $200/night. Could not find anything cheaper. Our orphanage city a has a real bargain at $50 a night it includes a bed a night stand a loo and "shower area" and nothing else. It does come with a meal deal which is quite reasonable. We might go this route. Only concern is first night where we really need a bath tub to giver our daughter a good scrubbing down.

We recently received some more photos of her. According to our incountry source a group was running fast down a hall and did not manage a turn. She got a good scrape on her noggin. Typical 2 yr old. She has also grown about 7 inches from when we first saw her. Man we got to get her home soon.

Work has been sending JE to training camp once a month. recently they were filling out the schedule for 2009. I called our handler – you know the one that never contacts us unless we make first contact. I asked her if she could get a feel for when this trip is supposed to take place. Well lookey here, two days later (today) she tells us that we received our NOC. Just in case you forgot…

No Objection Certificate (NOC):

A Certificate issued by CARA permitting the child to be placed with a prospective adoptive parents for Inter-country adoption.

Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA):

An autonomous body functioning under Ministry of Social Justice & Empowerment to act as a central authority in the matter of adoptions.

That means that they have approved us and our daughter to be placed. YEEEE HAAAAA!!!!! One hurdle down. We still have the courts to go through then translation and certification of the court records then more paper work here then the holidays and end of year festivities of both countries. So we were verbally told Jan or Feb but could be March or April for our travel.

The cost of the adoption has been modified. Look back for the spreadsheet. If you are flush with funds and want to help get her home, drop us a line. The next post will be a sanitized version of our virtual Evite that we sent out to close to 400 folks. JE called it his beg-a-thon.

je

Lagniappe and Shaking

No news on the adoption. Getting the silent treatment until our dossier is reviewed by CARA and we get NOC

SHAKE

Just in case you missed it the LA area had a small shaker yesterday. Not much damage but of course the "news" had to blow it way out of proportion. It was first thought to be a 5.8 but was later downgraded to a 5.4. From the quakes that I have been through unless it is 6.0 or greater they really don't do too much damage. as for figuring out scales…

Earthquake magnitude is a logarithmic measure of earthquake size. In simple terms, this means that at the same distance from the earthquake, the shaking will be 10 times as large during a magnitude 5 earthquake as during a magnitude 4 earthquake. The total amount of energy released by the earthquake, however, goes up by a factor of 32. Check out this for the latest quakes.

LAGNIAPPE

I didn't bring lunch yesterday so I walked to a Japanese place down the road. They have a great chicken teriyaki and veggie bowl, $5.36 out the door with extra ginger. A teenager was there counting out scrunched up dollars and spare change. What was wanted was $5.36 and what was on hand was exactly $5. I asked if she really wanted the bowl as I highly recommend it. A quick nod was what I got but she said she would get the bowl with no veggies. Can't have that, I said, get the bowl and here is the change you need. I then walked out. 20 steps down the sidewalk there was a commotion going on. One guy was acting like he had been stung by a bee. Literally jumped out of his seat and hopped 5 feet into the parking lot. I almost spilled my drink taking it in. I stopped and then noted the slight rolling motion. Ah earthquake, rolling not hard hitting, nothing big, keep it moving. Neophytes acting like they never experienced an earthquake before!

The wife was Jonesing for a pizza from Catalano's. It is a hole in the wall place in Long Beach. We have been going there for about 10 years or so. We have been in a habit of calling it Dave's (who is the owner) rather than by its proper name. This does sometimes get us into trouble when we don't have a menu at home and are looking for the phone number to call in an order. Case in point I told the wife to phone it in and I would pick it up on the way home. They have a very limited delivery range and they are definitely not in the neighbourhood. By the way they are not listed in the yellow pages under Dave. Maybe I should add them to the phone list…The past few times that we have been in Dave was either out on a run or had gone home for a break. When I got there he was there too. I said hello and that I would be right back as I had pics of the phamily. I showed him the eldest child the youngest child and said and this QT pie is waiting for us in India. He knew about the problems we had getting the first child going and knew that adoption was in our vocabulary. He was speechless when he saw our newest child. I feel as though I have robbed Dave as he said this pie was on the house.

Random act of kindness.

je

Dossier-Apostille-Traipsing the USA

So a couple of months ago we sent the Dossier off to the president of the adoption agency. This is someplace off in Northern California. The representative that we have been in steady contact is located in central United States and we knew it would make its way there. The folks in North Cali wanted to go through everything to make sure we had dotted our I's and crossed our T's. We were told it looked ok and so it was sent off to a journey eastward. Unfortunately as soon as it got there we were informed that due to certification reason the India representative was going to be centrally located and our new representative was now somewhere in Oregon. Geez, is this dossier ever going to get over to India?

Well it finally got to OR-E-Gone and yep our stuff was not in order. Let's see. Some of the forms we signed were rather generic and needed to be notarized. So what did I do? Yep clumped them altogether and slapped one notary on it. Sorry each signed document needs a separate notary. nice. Oh by the way you had another child since the Home Study was done, we need another family photo with your 3 week old child oh and we need a statement that she is willing to have an adopted sister. Let's see two of the notaries expire this year, could you write a statement that these documents are true and valid and get that paper signed this will go on top of the pages with these "stale" notaries. By the way as you thought Kali-For-knee-ah, as our governor calls it, charges for each document not for each signer. CHA-CHING –that will be $800 plus please.

Good grief. I feel like a cow that has a vampire bat attached. A little here a little there. Just keep looking at the photo and you realize it is worth the trip.

The Dossier finally makes its way to the adoption agency's Indian rep. He goes through it and wants changes too. Uh that means these need notaries and Apostille too, more $$ honey.

So I started looking at flights as we may be traveling in October. If I get a ticket that allows for flight changes I can lock in my airfare sooner rather than later. Sounds ok since fuel prices and airline fares are only going up. Yikes – for 2 adults and one toddler (same price – no price breaks for families anymore) I am looking at anywhere from $15K to $21,000. Uh not in my budget. Cheapie fares, if I buy now , are about $6,000. Not cheap but quite less.

Books for Children

Well The last blog was finding resources on how to adopt and some the physical and emotional problems that may come with your child. Sorry about the typo MS Word had no problem with the title of the last book How To get Your Kid To east… It should have been Eat. In case you couldn't tell I suck at this blog stuff. I am trying to get it to use a particular font – sometimes it works lately it doesn't. One particular irk is the fact that I use 2 spaces between sentences – It seems as though that is no longer the norm. Then lists are a total baffle. Let alone getting things into bold underline and what have you. Someone said remember when we used 5 ¼ floppies and WordStar fit on one disk and there was room for a few letters too. Well this is somewhat similar to that. Great I thought we have gotten past 1985 writing where part of the writing was coding.

So much for that tangent. Here are a few books that our daughter has been reading. By the way as soon as we knew we were adopting we let her know that she was getting a sister from India and giving her a name. For privacy reasons I have purposely not used any names so I make up another one here… In early December our daughter said "Susan is coming soon". She really is ready for her sister.

Name/Author/ISBN

I'm a Big Sister /Joanna Cole / 0-688-14509-4

Adoption Is For Always / Linda Walvoord Girard / 0-8075-0185-9

We Belong Together / Todd Parr / 0-316-01688-3

I Love You Like Crazy Cakes / Rose Lewis / 0-316-52538-3

je

Three Easy Steps To International Adoption

1. Choose your agency

2. Get an International Homestudy. This must be a licensed homestudy agency.

3. Get immigration approval from USCIS (US Customs & Immigration Service)

Sounds easy huh?

It is, if you keep a good sense of humour because some of the things you will be required to get notarized & apostilled (more on that too) are downright insane. Hey if it will help me adopt then how high do you want me to jump. By the way it is best to do each step one at a time. You could number 2 & 3 together but it can get a bit hectic because number 3 has a time limit on it and if you dilly-dally getting number 2 accomplished then you have wasted a grip of dough.

Resources we researched

In 2004 we started looking at Domestic Adoption

Here are some links that we used:

http://dcfs.co.la.ca.us California Department of Children & Family Services

http://www.nefe.org/ National Endowment for Financial Education search for adoption

http://www.adopt.org/ National Adoption Organization

http://www.cacfs.org/ California Alliance of Child and Family Services hit the links on this site

http://www.babycenter.com/ again search the word adoption

http://www.hfs.org/ Holy Family Services Adoption & Foster Care

In April 2006 we started hitting for International INDIA adoption

I highly recommend spending some time on this first site. It is not a complete list but it is a very good starting point. In May 2007 the links after the first one were contacted by one method or another – phone, email, visit if local. A comment about Dillon. Although we did not use them they are one of the few agencies that listed on their site names and email addresses of clients that have adopted. This is very rare and in my book shows integrity. Some agencies are reluctant to do this. They get high marks for doing it and the families get high marks for saying yes this is an agency that we would recommend. Another agency was International family Services who were willing to spend time talking and answering our questions without any $$. Some agencies won't talk without some payola. yeah we are taking their time but then again we are making a life changing investment and this is something that you want to do fully armed with information. Nothing worse than getting part way into the process and then deciding the agency you choose is really not working for you. o they too get very high marks in our book.

Other than the first site these are listed in no particular order

http://www.myadoptionlinks.com/

http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/info/info_457.html US Dept of State

http://www.dillonadopt.com/

http://www.lovebasket.org

http://www.childrenshopeint.org

http://www.wacap.org

http://www.ifservices.org/

http://www.baljagat.org

http://www.ichild.org

http://india.adoption.com

http://www.ftia.org/india a link has Hindi phrases which may help

http://www.adoptionfriendlyworkplace.org lists where you should be working

http://www.adoptionattorneys.org domestic/international this is the professional org in DC

http://www.angelfire.com/journal/adoptionhelp/adopthelp.html

Expenses as of JAN 2008

Geez, so this is what is is like to bring a child into this world when you don't have health insurance and creditors are knocking at your door.

Cost of adoption