Regrets – Rules R Rules

There is nothing I can do about this, but it has been bothering me for some time. Based on our combined age and number of children already in the home we were “allowed” to only adopt one child from India. There are exceptions to the rules, such as adopting a sibling set. One couple we know is adopting 3 siblings that range in age from 9 down. When adopting multiples the cost differential is not that much in the grand scheme of things. If you are already $35k into it what is another $5 - $7k? Our daughter is now 2 ½ and I am quite sure that she has a special friend at the orphanage. When she come home she is going to be leaving everything she knew: sounds sights, smells, language, family...and she will be leaving her friend. Not much that can be done now, however one wonder what might have been if we had put in our paperwork for 2? What is the worse they could do – say no? At this juncture our best bet is to find out who this mystery child is and if possible find out if another family is in the process of adopting her/him. If it is in the us then there may be a way to keep some sort of contact.

I have been testing Skype for the past few weeks. Cool – the video link seems to work ok. A sister lives in snow country and she took her laptop outside to show us the backyard covered in snow – brrrr.

Still waiting for ICPC between Texas & California. Once this gets done we are cleared to go, probably about 35 days post notification. Time to re-look at the hotel choices, get some more paperwork updated. The end is nigh.

je

VISA, ICPC, Grants

When we were told by the agency that they had received a mailed copy of the court docs they then started to prep the ICPC. It is at this point that you will want to mail in your Passport, photos, to get your Visa to India. It takes about 2 weeks to get them back. The Visa takes up a whole page in your passport and they want you to have at least 3 empty pages along with a passport that will not expire in the next 8 to 12 months.

Back to the ICPC Since the home office is in Texas and we are in California there is one more official piece of paperwork that needs to be competed before we make airline reservations, hotel... Although the India courts have given us guardianship if for some reason we are unable to care for our child then she would be remanded back to the adoption agency. As the agency is in Texas the court papers go to Texas. I guess if we did not go to India and she came here escorted we would have to go to the home office to pick her up. The ICPC is an Interstate Compact that says “hey California, we Texas have a ward of the state but we are sending her to you, is it ok?”

A few months ago I started looking at hotels and such, I'll post more details soon as now I really have to narrow down the choices and get ready to make the reservations.

I just finished up on our next to the last grant application. We have 12 grant requests that we have put out. Some will respond only if they grant the grant. So far we have heard nothing. It has been rather disheartening as I think grant funds have dried up. Part of this is peoples attitude. Kinda weird as we get questions like – Why do you want to take a stranger into your house? You know she is going to have problems and will be disruptive. And closer to home we have an individual who call our daughter as “That girl in India”. Up to this pint I have made an effort to keep identities private as you really don't have a need to know. Thus I have not yet posted any photos. When she is ours I will rectify that. But let's suffice it to say that “That girl in India” has a name and her name is Camille. We are about $13K short if what we need to get her home. Looking at one grant location I noted that their max was $10k that they give 3 to 4 times a year. Once you dig deeper I found that this year was not a good year as they were only able to fund a total of $4k. Signs of the economic times.

je

SHE'S OURS .......SHE'S OURS

1207 hrs today I got a call from the wife, who got a call from one of our representatives at the adoption agency. Our papers have passed the court system and we will be able to go get her either at the end of December or early January.

je

"Free" Calls

Of course as I am going home the other day I thought, "Hey, I have this Skype (http://www.skype.com/newtoskype/) account, jengineer is the handle."

So this is another option for communicating to those back home. High speed connections should be available at the large hotels. I have read that connection speeds are faster in other countries, I do not know about India. There are other VOIP's that you can use but I think Skype is known big time. Best part is that Skype is free if you are going to another Skype user. So my siblings will be able to talk to us but unfortunately the parental unit will not. One PU would be on computers but the other PU is averse to them so to keep peace they have a 15 yr or more Mac sitting under wraps.

Hey I should see how early this Mac is because the first ones are now worth $$ I bet this one does not qualify as one that was made in the garage.

je

Blog in the Bog

Sorry about letting this blog get bogged by only updating once a month. Nothing and I mean nothing happened during the month of October. As you know we passed NOC but are now waiting for our case to work its way through the court system. Nothing happens in October as there are 13 high festivals/holidays in October. So we continue to get ourselves prepped for our now 2 ½ year old. I have been looking at hotels, racks and B&B. One chain is The Ginger. It reminds me of dorm room living. Maybe a little bigger in square footage but not much. The rooms have a flat screen tv, a bed, a small counter to write on and a shower with toilet – no bathtub. Compared to other hotels this Spartan one is only about $60 a night where others are about $150 a night. Unfortunately this hotel chain is not in all the cities we will be visiting. The next “cheaper” place is the B&B. It is run by an engineer and Psychologist in Delhi. As a bonus it is possible to arrange evening meals in addition to breakfast.

Phone Home

So once we are in country how do we communicate with the folks back home or possibly some of our contacts in India? Obvious solution is to get a throw away phone while there. Doesn't help much if mom and dad want to call to see how things are going and to say hi to their new grandchild. So how about re-chipping your current cell? Well to do that you need to crack the cell to let it accept other company chips. Oh and you need to make sure your phone will work in the country you are going to something about GSM and broadcast frequencies. For the provider we will use in country you need a phone capable of GSM 900/ 1800/ 1900 or a GSM 850/ 900/ 1800/ 1900 Suffice it to say google will be your friend. If you decide to crack your phone, also known as unlock, on your own be careful because if you choose the wrong program you could turn it into a brick.

So AT&T doesn't like to use the word crack they call it subsidy password. When you take out your chip and put in someone else's it will ask for a password. Essentially it unlocks the phone so that it will recognize another network. The crack software does it by recoding the internal program of the phone and makes it universal to accept other chips. The password method keeps the same program that came with the phone. Since I am somewhat phone unsavy this is the method I took. Since we have been with the same provider for a year or so all it took was a 10 minute phone call. The password that the company gives you is specific to a single phone. Now to find a chip and plan for India

Finding a provider and plan is not too messy – google again. There are a few providers that I found and as usual the glom around high population locales. The one we are going to use will only work in Deli which is ok. http://www.roamsimple.com/products/Roam-Simple-India-SIM-Card.aspx use the Idea network. Initial outlay is $19 and calls are at 30 cents minute when you are done you return the chip. The calls are cheaper at http://www.cellularabroad.com/SIMcards.php which uses AirTel but the cost of the chip is over $80 – you keep the chip.

Schlep a PC?

Not sure yet one. All our documents have been scanned in and are available to print and are also on a flash drive. There are a bunch of monster laptops out there. Space and weight are killers whn\en it comes to laptops. MSI mobile has a 10 inch laptop called the wind. It has built in Wi-Fi b/g/n blue tooth and a camera too boot. Might be the ticket. Who uses pen and paper anymore? Could try a blackberry or cousin of the bb but that would mean another learning curve to tackle. See more at http://www.msimobile.com/nblist.aspx?screen=10.0

Brought to you by

humm this blog is looking like an advertisement. Oh well

Treats

Our suitcase is filling up with clothes for the children at the orphanage – gotta make sure we don't low the weight limitations. Did a Costco run to get toothpaste but the tooth brushes are too costly. The parental unit gave us a hook-up for a dental supply house that will be able to set us up with brushes for about 50 cents or less a piece. We still need to find a site for band aids and “neosporin”.

Lose your referral?

One of the adopting parents created a forum that is limited to those of us adopting from our agency. Today I saw an note that one of the parents lost their referral. Unfortunately they did not give any detail but it happened sometime after they accepted the referral. This could mean that they sent in their acceptance form, you get this after you say yes to a particular child. That means that it either got kicked back during the NOC, Court hearing, or something changed in their home study that adversely affected their status. Rather sobering news.

je

Boo – After your child comes to California

13OCT08 Update

No movement for the past month. We got news that India has over 13 national holidays during the month of October. The courts get back in session in November. Our passports are ready to go just need to send them in for the Visa. I have decided to wait until we get better confirmation of when we are going. Even after the courts give us the ok and they papers get translated there is still some paperwork here in the US that needs to be done. I think I mentioned it before but I forget. It is paperwork that says the state of Texas is sending a child to California and does California accept this child. If our agency had its HQ in California then we wouldn't have to go through this hoop.

Last month I took a look at what it would take to get our daughter legally adopted in California. Some states you can get your child and the next week roll into the courts and get them legally adopted. As it is we will be granted guardianship in India.

It is a 5 step process:

STEP 1

Fill out 4 forms

Adoption Request – Tells the judge about U and your child

Adoption Agreement – not applicable as our child is under the age of 12

Adoption Order – Judge signs it if he approves the adoption

Adoption Expenses – tells judge about your adoption expenses

STEP 2

The Social Worker writes a report – probably just an amendment to the one you already have.

STEP 3

Get Your Hearing

Bring the above forms and your child, a camera and your friends

STEP 4

If this is an open adoption then you need to fill out another form which asks for an open adoption. Not much use for us as our child was abandoned at the gates of the orphanage.

STEP 5

More forms to have on hand

Adoption of Indian Child

Parent of Indian Child Agrees to End Parental Rights.

You may think twice about the last one, as I am unsure if the web site is referring to Native Americans or from the subcontinent. They are referring to Native Americans so the 5^th step is not applicable either.

Looks to me like we can make our adoption as quickly as we fill out the papers and get a court date.

The cost of the adoption has been modified.

je

Beg-A-Thon

Bring Our Daughter Home

There are two ways that we can address our plea to our Family, Friends, Acquaintances and Benefactors who happen upon this plea. Some of you have seen JE' quip which is repeated below. Here is RN's version in JE's words.

Dear Brothers and Sister's. In case you didn't know it has long been on my heart to adopt. During our courtship we discussed adoption and I told my then friend that ever since I was eight (8) I had it placed hard on me that I would adopt a child and raise him or her as best I could. If he was not on-board then he would be kicked to the curb.

We are now 7 months into our paper pregnancy and try as we might we have been unsuccessful in finding grants for the adoption. Unlike health insurance where pregnancies, births and even abortions are covered by insurance here is no such program for adoption. Our first two children cost less than $3000, not including the monthly premiums. Adopting, we have found, will stretch you to your financial limits and beyond.

We are asking, pleading, for your financial support, to help us bring our daughter home home.

Brother Can You Spare A Dime Part 1

HELP!

They are holding my daughter hostage in India. The kidnappers have demanded a minimum of $13,000 for us to get her with a few caveats. The exchange is to take place in a small village on the east coast of India. We will have to make arrangements for airfare, hotels, taxi's, immigration payola, medical treatment etc. The demands are rather complicated. We need to get exit visa's and to do that we have to travel to the far Northern part of the country, Delhi. We have been told that if we meet the requirements in Delhi that we should be allowed to leave with our child. I tried to negotiate a simple fly-in, fly-out exchange but was told I had to do it their way or no way. We knew that getting her home would not be cheap but we are getting stretched thin. Unfortunately there is no type of insurance for this situation, Our only course of action is to ask for help in getting her back. Can you help?

Are you flush? If so we will gladly take a grant (cheeky eh?).

BCYSAD Part 2

Ever see those info-mercials about children in other countries needing your financial support for just a dollar a day? Well we are not needing a dollar a day. We easily need over $13,000. Make a real positive impact on a child's life. Help us bring our daughter home. Instead of getting a yearly report on her health and educational progress you can come by and actually visit, touch and be an active participant in making a change in our daughter's life. Brother, Can You Spare Dime?

je

Cost up to date

This is what this adoption has cost up to date. It also includes estimated cost and offsets we have received from family and friends.

je

Notification of NOC 28AUG08

Knock – NOC

For the past two weeks I have been looking at hotels for the trip. Generally there are two methods that the agency recommends for tripping in India. One is to land in Delhi and then take a trip to Agra. the other is go straight to the orphanage city. Everyone recommends spending at least one day on the ground before heading up in an airplane for another day.

Day 1 Land in Delhi 4 hour road trip to Agra.

Day 2 Visit the Taj aka one grand mausoleum.

Day 3 Local outing to the markets to get proper clothing

Day 4 4 hour road trip to Delhi and flight to the orphanage.

Day 5 Visit the locality. Built in 11th century AD, the Stone revetments were considered an engineering marvel of those times. They show us how advanced the technology and skills were even at that point of time. The revetments helped save the city form many floods. That is on JE's list. The artisans are noted for their silver filigree.

Day 6 Pick up our daughter

Day 7 Travel to Delhi

Day 8 US Embassy, Doctor visit to get child clearance

Day 9 US Embassy

Day 10 Sight seeing/rest

Day 10 Get out of dodge

Somewhere in all this RN wants to get a locally made rug. Our in-country guide runs $100 /day. One of the families, suffering from an embarrassment of riches, stayed at $600-800 a night hotels in Delhi and Agra. I think they had to skimp on the orphanage and could only manage something like $300 a night rooms.

Unfortunately our fund raising efforts will not afford us such luxury. I think I have found a nice bed and breakfast in Delhi. The husband is an engineer/businessman and the wife a psychologist. They run only $100/night. Agra is expensive expensive so it looks like about $200/night. Could not find anything cheaper. Our orphanage city a has a real bargain at $50 a night it includes a bed a night stand a loo and "shower area" and nothing else. It does come with a meal deal which is quite reasonable. We might go this route. Only concern is first night where we really need a bath tub to giver our daughter a good scrubbing down.

We recently received some more photos of her. According to our incountry source a group was running fast down a hall and did not manage a turn. She got a good scrape on her noggin. Typical 2 yr old. She has also grown about 7 inches from when we first saw her. Man we got to get her home soon.

Work has been sending JE to training camp once a month. recently they were filling out the schedule for 2009. I called our handler – you know the one that never contacts us unless we make first contact. I asked her if she could get a feel for when this trip is supposed to take place. Well lookey here, two days later (today) she tells us that we received our NOC. Just in case you forgot…

No Objection Certificate (NOC):

A Certificate issued by CARA permitting the child to be placed with a prospective adoptive parents for Inter-country adoption.

Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA):

An autonomous body functioning under Ministry of Social Justice & Empowerment to act as a central authority in the matter of adoptions.

That means that they have approved us and our daughter to be placed. YEEEE HAAAAA!!!!! One hurdle down. We still have the courts to go through then translation and certification of the court records then more paper work here then the holidays and end of year festivities of both countries. So we were verbally told Jan or Feb but could be March or April for our travel.

The cost of the adoption has been modified. Look back for the spreadsheet. If you are flush with funds and want to help get her home, drop us a line. The next post will be a sanitized version of our virtual Evite that we sent out to close to 400 folks. JE called it his beg-a-thon.

je

Lagniappe and Shaking

No news on the adoption. Getting the silent treatment until our dossier is reviewed by CARA and we get NOC

SHAKE

Just in case you missed it the LA area had a small shaker yesterday. Not much damage but of course the "news" had to blow it way out of proportion. It was first thought to be a 5.8 but was later downgraded to a 5.4. From the quakes that I have been through unless it is 6.0 or greater they really don't do too much damage. as for figuring out scales…

Earthquake magnitude is a logarithmic measure of earthquake size. In simple terms, this means that at the same distance from the earthquake, the shaking will be 10 times as large during a magnitude 5 earthquake as during a magnitude 4 earthquake. The total amount of energy released by the earthquake, however, goes up by a factor of 32. Check out this for the latest quakes.

LAGNIAPPE

I didn't bring lunch yesterday so I walked to a Japanese place down the road. They have a great chicken teriyaki and veggie bowl, $5.36 out the door with extra ginger. A teenager was there counting out scrunched up dollars and spare change. What was wanted was $5.36 and what was on hand was exactly $5. I asked if she really wanted the bowl as I highly recommend it. A quick nod was what I got but she said she would get the bowl with no veggies. Can't have that, I said, get the bowl and here is the change you need. I then walked out. 20 steps down the sidewalk there was a commotion going on. One guy was acting like he had been stung by a bee. Literally jumped out of his seat and hopped 5 feet into the parking lot. I almost spilled my drink taking it in. I stopped and then noted the slight rolling motion. Ah earthquake, rolling not hard hitting, nothing big, keep it moving. Neophytes acting like they never experienced an earthquake before!

The wife was Jonesing for a pizza from Catalano's. It is a hole in the wall place in Long Beach. We have been going there for about 10 years or so. We have been in a habit of calling it Dave's (who is the owner) rather than by its proper name. This does sometimes get us into trouble when we don't have a menu at home and are looking for the phone number to call in an order. Case in point I told the wife to phone it in and I would pick it up on the way home. They have a very limited delivery range and they are definitely not in the neighbourhood. By the way they are not listed in the yellow pages under Dave. Maybe I should add them to the phone list…The past few times that we have been in Dave was either out on a run or had gone home for a break. When I got there he was there too. I said hello and that I would be right back as I had pics of the phamily. I showed him the eldest child the youngest child and said and this QT pie is waiting for us in India. He knew about the problems we had getting the first child going and knew that adoption was in our vocabulary. He was speechless when he saw our newest child. I feel as though I have robbed Dave as he said this pie was on the house.

Random act of kindness.

je