When we first started along the adoption path we needed to find an agency. In fact we actually started looking in our own backyard. We thought adopt a child from the Los Angles area. My work actually had recommendations of several agencies. Our community fund had lists of agencies that the employees had supported. and there were employees at the company who have adopted, my senior manger among them.
First Shock
Open or closed. In an open adoption or semi open the birth mother/father actually pick you based on a portfolio that you put together. Wooh, back up a minute. You mean the birth parent/s choose you. Uh no thanks. Even better yet on some adoptions the parents may even have post adoption contact. That did not suit our needs so we said no thanks. Oh it got better, on the open adoption the birth mothers had a tendency to either look for the high income family or families that were , humm shall we say close to their peerage.
Second Eye Opener
Stay away from agencies that won't disclose. We quickly wrote off agencies that wanted $$ up front to either talk to us or give us information. I got really frustrated when one company, local big charity organization started by a well known celebrity (now deceased) could not give basic statistics. Such as:
What are the age range of your couples that you placed children?
How many children did you place in the last year, last 5 years?
What is the average wait time after the dossier is completed?
How many dossiers are open – this one is important if it is a first come first served.
County
County was an option. However, we found that at the time we were looking, that prospective couples were being strongly encouraged to first foster and then adopt. We didn't want to go the foster route as we felt that each child needs a stable environment and getting shuffled from one foster family to another is just plain cruel and we did not want to be a part of that. Another reason is getting attached to a child and then having the county place that child with a family that would adopt. Sorry our emotions have already been through the ringer.
Out of State
So we don't like the county system how about other
Go Foreign
When Adoption is Not Adoption
For You Impossible
Hey look at this, there is an agency that brokers
We learn that
One Door Shut, a Window Opened
It was an emotional setback but hey this adoption thing is turning out to be an emotional roller coaster. Not a real setback because there are many other agencies to look into, they would have been convenient. At this point I am kinda hanging back waiting for HN to settle in on an agency. Looking at the cost of one over another (yeah this is another thing that some agencies are not willing to share until you have already plunked down some dough) they are all about the same. Some agencies has milestones for parting you with your money. The first is in the applicantion/contract and the second chink happens after you have accepted a child. Part of the $$ goes to the agency and a lions share is destined for the orphanage. HN settles down on three and of course none of them are in our state. This poses a bit of a heartache for me. Hey, I want to meet these folks that are going to be sucking away my stash that we have saved up for a rainy day/house expansion/world tour. HN starts talking to one individual both on the phone and through email quite extensively. She (the Adoption Agency rep) even starts to send us questions we should be asking our prospective agency, a list of financial resources (I will post this soon), and answering some questions that I thought the agency would be hesitant to discuss. Wow, we are almost getting full disclosure all we have to do is keep asking questions. I ask HN where this person is located,
je
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